#reverb10: contributions and eliminations
by Zoeyjane
Prompt: Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
Every day, I scan through my feed reader and I digest and share other people’s work. With few exceptions, the majority of sites that I subscribe to contain work that has repeatedly blown me away.
I don’t want to, but I look for clues. At some point, I’ve even sat there and wondered how I could write a post nearly as inspired, so that people will feel as if they should share my words. And when I have seen my writing shared in the reader, or even – gasp – submitted on Digg by someone other than me or a close friend, my brain explodes with confusion.
I loathe doing it, but I compare. I hate the idea, but I wonder if I should start writing for the audiences, not for the sake of writing and for the small readership that six years of blogging has given me. I think, Shouldn’t I be trying to build my own name, instead of helping others build theirs? Why is mine so less important?
And I just don’t know.
What most hurtful to my writing is the notion I have that I’m not a writer, or don’t deserve to be labelled as one. I’m a marionette that occasionally churns out heart-wrenchers, and more often, shallow, existential repeatings that could bore the most devout monk. That gnawing tone within the buzzing in my brain says that people who pay me have low standards. And that I’m an example of why bloggers aren’t taken seriously.
Can I eliminate this speech? Maybe. Probably. But I’m not entirely sure how, given that logic and compliments and promotions haven’t done it for me.
I’m taking suggestions, if you’ve got them.
