Day 12 – Laughable
by Zoeyjane
Something you never get compliments on
That one’s easy.
Consistency.
Because I’m not. Consistent.
Ever.
Remember how this was a daily thing? Oops.
And how I used to run?
How medication was working, then not, then was, but then maybe I was dying, so if ever there was a point to be off, that was it? Yeah. That was a freak abscess.
Know how I once said I’d get my PhD, then my undergrad degree, then I’d go back to school next year for interior design? I’m thinking communications now. Maybe.
How about the four years in a row that I started NaNoWriMo but never finished it. And how I’m totally planning to do it again this year, but to raise money for charity while doing it, and I’m totally prepared… with a loose plot in my head that amounts to about three lines? I’ve got that all mapped out and it’s totally gonna happen.
Remember when I quit drinking and I was counting the days? Then I quit quitting for a night, decided I didn’t really have a problem, it was just mostly the counting that was driving me to thirst of epic proportions and I haven’t touched it since. Just cause. Except for that one night, I think, it’ll be a year next month.
I remember the two months when I didn’t care about my weight and I was so happy to have finally reached 115 pounds. Now, 106 looks ugly to me, I’m back down to praying for a 24″ waist with only a third of an inch to go and I’m unapologetic.
Let’s not even discuss all of the times I’ve decided to quit smoking. Bought a new pack last night.
God, the amount of times I’ve waffled on everything important or not. But mostly, important and big and functional. Like that time I said I would stop sleeping with my ex, but then would, but then never again, but then would, but then just this once, then we were all going to move to Paris, then I cut off his visits with Zoë and he was going to hate me forever? Then, I wrote a post about wanting to marry him and he totally helped my turkey get stuffed this Thanksgiving?
Yeah, that.
Tomorrow: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. [link]
