The Hungry Mirror Warped Mine
by Zoeyjane
Here’s a tip, right from the start. If you’ve struggled with an eating disorder, and you’re probably over it (but who’s really ever over it), and you’ve recently gone off of your mood stabilizers that were kind of working, but not as well as the new ones will once your prescription is filled, don’t read The Hungry Mirror by Lisa de Nikolits.
If none of the above applies, and most especially if you know someone who fights with body image or food issues and you just don’t understand how their brain works but want to? Read it.
This book, from the first pages, drags you deep into the psyche of eating, body dysmorphia and just plain screwed logic – all of the blocks that eating disorders are built out of. de Nikolits breathes her ketonic message loud and clear, with a piercing realism that delves intimately into the day-by-day. You’ll find yourself questioning, arguing, asking for change, saddened, wracked with empathy, and even more so, starving for more of the ending and less of the beginning and middle.
You want to know what came after, because the end is so abrupt, and for the first time in the book, so optimistic.
Definitely dark, and twisted, de Nikolits has the ability to imprint herself right onto the page, and I honestly had to keep stepping away from her story because it hit so close to the address I used to call home. Also, I did recently go off of my mood stabilizers, and I’ve struggled with eating disorders and I’m maybe not totally over them (especially when you consider the new and shiny wonderful that is orthorexia).
The underlying issue I had when eating up de Nikolits’ words was that I suddenly starting feeling like I don’t starve enough, again. And when I saw myself in the mirror for the week that it took me to read it, I was back to nearly square-one, compartmentalizing my features under classifications of fat, soft, jiggly, bloated, stretch-marked and cellulite-infested. Part of me – while I feel that the book was filled with great writing and a nakedness that’s hard to find – feels as if it was almost irresponsible to go to print without some form of warning. It’s that triggering.
It was akin to a memoir about alcoholism being read aloud at an AA meeting, right before the serenity prayer, in which the author talks about the brain soothe that comes from the first sip in an anxious moment.
Great. Now I want a drink, too.
Disclosure: I was provided a complimentary copy of the book in return for this honest review; the link above is an Amazon Affiliate link, should you consider purchasing the novel.
